I did try to be open-minded. But, there was something of a warning in that note sent to me after the injury to my laptop. It didn’t ask after the health of my equipment or if it would be easy/costly to repair.  That was fine- all in the lot of a freelancer, after all. But, in the midst of all that was the note’s clear suggestion that the company had been more put out by the injury than I was and now had to scramble for stories. The note even asked me to be more conscientious in times ahead and send an early alert if I was ever unable to perform as usual.

I had many concerns. The first was that I had indeed sent in early notice that I would not be my usual productive self. The second was that even with the addition of two full time members- both of whom had been reporters for quite some time, my disappearance for one day was being treated as the end of the world. The third was that this company so very flippant with the issue of a contract and the provision of the basic tools of the trade could dare to suggest a freelancer owed them much.

Did I really want to sign up for a company like this- one which was already showing that it was not willing (for all its talk) to give much but would ask for the world in return? I remember two or more company writers- staff and freelance- once noted that I was treated better and with more respect than them and others. But, I didn’t want to compare notes with others.  I wished to be treated well and with respect. Full stop.  So, was I going to be one of those people who ignored all the warning signs during the wooing and hope for the best during the marriage?

I didn’t want to be in the same old situation; working for people who knew the value of my work, but, undervalued me all the same.  Beyond the paycheck, the amazing network of contacts and enjoying the job, there will always be the matter of respect.   I think it matters very little if people- employers or co-workers- like me.  Just respect me and we shall be fine until the end of time. Respect, as many working girls (and boys) will/would have learn/learnt (probably the hard way) is indeed priceless and precious.

The morning came and I showed up at the place serving as an office for the news agency- both members were there and we proceeded very quickly with the matter(s) at hand. Now, journalism is a field which relies heavily upon words.  For a hard news piece, you convey a sense of who/what/where etc in as objective manner as possible. For a features piece, you give the same who/what/where etc but with your own flair- you draw the reader in. But, it’s not always about words. It’s also just as much about silences beckoned up by certain reference points. The things you do not write in a piece. The things that are there anyway-on accident/purpose.

So, as I sat in the meeting with lots being said, it was the silence which spoke loudest and the most.  I didn’t miss certain references, looks or sighs. I didn’t miss the things that weren’t said, but hung around in the room with us anyway- all friendly like. Twenty minutes into the meeting, I’d made up my mind.  I knew what I would do and had to do.

Coming Next Tuesday:  “The End?- Part II”