A few years ago, without caring whether or not anyone was observing me, I stood still. I spread my arms out wide and then I closed my eyes.  I stood like that for quite a while on the shore of a popular beach. It wasn’t something new for me- it was just something I hadn’t done in a long time- not since childhood.  It was such a simple thing to stand like that- arms spread and eyes closed.

But, it was also a scary thing. Maybe it’s years of watching horror/suspense movies.  Or maybe it’s just a matter of growing up very quickly and understanding some of the things life could throw at you whether or not you are paying attention. You come to believe that closing your eyes or just looking away at a critical moment is not the smartest move in life. It really is naturally disconcerting for me to keep my eyes closed when I’m not sure what or who might be standing in front or behind me when I next open them.

Being freshly unemployed from the R. Allen Stanford company felt remarkably like standing on that beach with arms wide and eyes shut.  I had made some quick and major decisions. I decided that just maybe I wasn’t the sort of working girl who wanted to be tied down to one master.  I’d made notes. And these notes took the liberty of organizing themselves into a world. It was by no means a new world. But, I was keen to plant my flag on some summit in this world and call it my own. Upon my flag would be the name old explorers had coined-FREELANCER.  Luck (maybe destiny) had thrust my situation upon me and I’d decided to take the risk- arms wide and eyes closed.  It would all be a change for me- a welcomed change.

So, I surveyed this world I’d created on paper. It reeked of freedom.  I could choose my hours of work. I could say “YES” and “NO” more freely.  I would work as I choose- play as my heart desired. There was just one problem. (Problems, I have learnt, plague every world- free or un-free.) Yes, this world stank of freedom- but it also promised much horrors.

For one thing, you can avoid having one main master, but, this also means you forego the right to be protected.  What master would want to expend energy protecting a servant that was altogether sometimes-ish?  And, for another, what about other servants? They might be sorely afraid of the off-putting odour of freedom on you. For, you would not be one of them. You wouldn’t be able to complain along with them about your oppressing boss. And, if you kept to yourself (like I intended to- more than ever), you would have no juicy gossip to share about other colleagues in the field.

The trails in the business were already lined with crosses and unforgiving cliques. Who’d want to forsake the comfort and security of already established rules and rites? Who’d want to stand alone on the outside with the members of various packs fearing or isolating you?  Who in their right mind would risk the possible financial difficulty, if not ruin?

These and other questions I pondered before I struck upon the right one: “who wouldn’t?”

Coming Next Tuesday: #19 The Shimmery Stuff...