Now, don't get me wrong, Tony* wasn’t all bad.  Sometimes, I could talk to him about things. He was an okay listener. But overall, Tony was really a lot of bad. Online life with him could best be described as “draining”.  Things got to the point at which just hearing his voice would make me grow sullen and tired. He was like a really huge mosquito (whining included), which, with each word uttered, would cart away my energy by the joules.

I did not enjoy hearing his plans for us- or how I’d never want for anything once we finally met and were together forever. And I, most certainly, did not enjoy him trying to initiate “sexy” talk. He would press that we meet as soon as possible. From time to time, I would mention that I did/could not feel for him as he did for me. The crying would start and I would get accused of being like all the others- eager to leave him.  I would then accuse him of being too insecure. I would remind him that we were not a couple. He would cry some more. And, before I knew it, I would be lured back in by some twisted logic and pity.

Then, one day, I had enough. I finally grew tired of the forever crying man, his possessive ways and the way he would misspell words when were on MSN messenger. I grew tired of his accent. I grew weary of just about everything about him.  I announced the end and extended my hand in friendship. That launched a week of crying, angry emails, offline and text messages. And more crying. Then came a day or two of silence and he was back- this time acting like a normal friend.

Then came a quiet Saturday night. I had just resigned myself to the fact that I was severely culinary-challenged.  I gave up the kitchen for logging into my hotmail account. There they were- three emails from Tony; all in the space of five minutes. I opened the first he had sent. He is apologizing. He had a really great time chatting with me before his laptop started acting up.  I opened the second. He just wanted me to know that he has just deleted my primary email address from his messenger. I didn’t answer any of the text messages he sent tonight. The third email lets me know that I can consider my secondary address deleted as well. He called me SEVEN TIMES!  He now understands that he was never anything to me.  Just so I know- he did love me very much. He still does. But he doesn’t do this “friendship” thing which I seem to like so very much.

He wonders how many men I have led on and then dismissed with the “we are better off as friends” line.  Not like he cares about any of that anymore! I should do whatever makes me feel more secure about myself. I’m dead to him now- deleted from both his messenger lists. He means it this time. For real.

I check my phone- the ringing style had been set to vibrate. Sure enough- seven missed calls, seven voice messages and ten text messages.  He is vicious in seven text messages; no doubt, he is crying in all seven voice messages.  The devil prods me to send an email accepting the end and asking him to cease being so very psychotic.  I wait two minutes. No response. I’m almost disappointed.

Sunday brings his response. I’m almost relieved.  Why couldn’t I respond to his text messages? Or just pick up the phone? Was I with someone else? Maybe one of my "male buddies"? I should know that we didn’t work in the past because I have commitment issues.  Despite all my talk, he doesn’t think I have it in me “to commit to just one man....” He finishes off his rant with an ellipsis. I had to admit that that was a nice touch.  And, that was the saddest part of the entire affair; finally impressed by the man- because of his use of punctuation.

 * Real name has been altered.

Coming Next Saturday: Let's Just Race Along