Somewhere between attempting to date as I would in real life.  Somewhere between hating where attempting to date as I would in real life left me. Somewhere between being tempted to wander back into my old destructive ways. And somewhere between attempting to persuade life that if the dry spell and the entire mess I’ve been through with online dating was all a test, it was a very unfair one. He happened.

 I’d love to say that he popped out of nowhere. But, that wouldn’t be totally true.  Somewhere between my online attempts at real-life, hating where those attempts left me, fighting the temptation to wander back onto the old path and attempting to persuade life to ease up just a bit, he was happening all along.

Strike that, he was happening before all of that. In reality and real life, he had been happening for years. But before, he was just a curious onlooker, looking on at me as any regular friend would: liking the time we spent together, but not feeling fit to die when I got busy and had no time for him. He was just another friend- a semi-close one, but just a friend all the same.  However, as the years floated by us and we two were caught up in very different currents- something changed.  There I was mesmerized with cultivating and cursing my love for online dating. There he was, so he said, falling in like, then deeper like, then love with me.

He wanted to be extremely clear on the “love” part. He wasn’t some untried schoolboy infatuated with some schoolgirl who was paying him some attention. He wasn’t stuck in some fantasy world, thinking I was so perfect (that would have been nice).  He didn’t spend his nights fantasizing how perfect things would be if he was with me (though he did spend some nights fantasizing what it would be like to be with me).  After years of observing me, spending and not spending time with me as a friend. After more years of wishing to observe me, spend and not spend time with me as something more than a friend, he wanted us to make some real-life attempts at us.

Enter William*.

The offline man who was so very sure that he understood some of me and was so very sure that he wanted to understand more.  Sure, in recent times I’d received little warnings that this man had moved from curious onlooker to something that I should frown upon. But, I had ignored these warnings, considered him harmless until he tossed his hat in the ring with his half-ferocious bid. The sweet irony of it all, of course, is that he threw in his hat with that half-ferocious bid of his…online.

Yes, we were conversing via msn messenger: he was playfully (or so I thought) whining about the same old thing- not seeing much of me lately. I don’t know how we got from that to him typing those three words- no smiling/winking/grinning/giggling/silly emoticons included. Nothing. Just those three words a man should never say/type to a woman who is his friend unless he is sure he means it.  And while he was there defending his words and assuring me that he had it all thought out, all I could think was: here comes troubleeeeee….

*Not real name

Coming Next Saturday: Hmnn….