I was ready to practice all I’d theorized about online dating…in real life. So, enter Marlon*.  We began calmly enough.  In fact, we began so calmly, I don’t even remember how we got to talking or how quickly/slowly we moved to chatting on an external messenger after our first hellos on the dating site.  But, the one thing I remember about our first encounter was how struck he seemed by a particular photo I had on display on this dating site. He thought it modest and sophisticated. I quickly placed a check mark on that photo and promised myself never to remove it.

We talked almost every day for at least two hours or so. He would tell me about his day at work or about any interesting thing which happened during the day. Sometimes, he chatted happily about the latest recipe (he cooked too!) he’d tried or wanted to try. And, in turn, he’d ask about my day and whether or not I had anything interesting or funny, particularly funny, to share. He’d tease and josh with me like I was one of the boys but would get super concerned if I sounded the least bit tired or unwell.  He was my baby bear date. Everything of his seemed just right.

One day, I was feeling under the weather- the cold season and all- and admitted this to him, after he kept asking if I was well.  He then went about suggesting a home remedy for my cold. First, he asked about any of the necessary ingredients I might have around the house. Then about the utensils.  He then began dictating the recipe for this particular remedy. And while he did this, something clicked for me.  Well, it would be more correct to say something didn’t click. 

Marlon was smart. He was handsome. He was funny. He was kind. He had a healthy self esteem.  He could cook!  This man was every sort of right. But, he just wasn’t right for me.  I could hear a male voice in the back of my head uttering a sigh of frustration.  It did seem sort of strange.  The man before me had no flaw that I couldn’t live with.  But, I just knew that I couldn’t live with him.

At first I was annoyed with myself and was worried that Tony* might have been right about me having an issue with commitment.  I mean, how do you just decide that a perfect man isn’t good enough or right for you?   And over a home remedy dictation!  You just don’t. But then, I realized what was happening.  This was truly different to the past.  This time around, I wasn’t ignoring instinct- the number two protector of the heart (after the ribcage) since time immemorial.  I respected and liked the man, but, could not see myself in a romantic relationship with him. I knew I had to end it before he, pardon my arrogance, got hurt. So I did. Not in the most gracious way, mind you. But I ended it quickly and almost painlessly.

Finally!  I’d done to an online date exactly what I would have done to an offline date…if real life dates were my thing.

 *Name has been changed.

Coming Next Saturday:  Real-life sucks