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Now, I’m a regular chick and I can admit that I am subject to all of the shortcomings that humans face. So, after my desire to want to slap the hell out of a Ricki Lake guest last week, I thought it would be an idea to share the time when I was faced with warning signs and the reason why I get so irate when people fail to do anything about them.

I have been listening to Jazmine Sullivan's album "Fearless" a lot lately, and apart from the fact that this girl can obviously sing the paint off walls, move grown men and women alike to tears, she also has some seriously, poignant lyrics. I'm not joking, if you don't believe me, beg, borrow or buy the album... I bet you'll learn something...

One track in particular resonated with me, actually it hit me like a freight train, and got me to thinking about the people in my past. The song called "Live a lie" talks of fooling yourself, failing to see what is painfully obvious, and ignoring the warning signs around you.

There are times in life when we are faced with signs. More often than not these signs are warnings. We seem to be built with a sort of Sat-Nav style capability, which, shows us when and where danger lies ahead and steers us away from it with its different modes. The name of this system is "instinct". Our instincts have an overwhelming ability to make known to us the things in life which can harm our physical, as well as spiritual well being.

This can be a powerful tool when it comes to human relationships. In the human anatomy, instincts would be located within the gut, with a direct line to our brain, bypassing our hearts in order to maintain clarity from emotion. They help us to make judgements about the people we meet based on their behaviours, and chose whether they can be trusted near our hearts.

The problem we face is that our hearts tend to have their own ideas on the matter and there is a constant battle between what our hearts think a situation is and what out instincts tell us .

So when I found a short while ago that an old friend (with whom I had been spending a lot of of time) seemed to be sending me mixed messages about the actual nature of our relationship, my heart (being in it's entangled state) tried to make excuses for his behaviour: “oh he's been hurt in the past by exes” or “he doesn't want to hurt our friendship”. All while this was occurring though, my head and gut were screaming out in unison “he's playing the fool, and trying to play you in the process”.

And then one day it happened. It finally clicked. I realised that things weren't about to go any further, whether I wanted it to or not, because my instincts kept putting a block up. Think about it: the old phrase goes 'if it's meant to be, it will be'. It was at this stage that I decided that I was going to distance myself, and you know that swine flirted that much harder!?! By this point although my heart decided it might do a Biggy and Faith and give him “one more chance” my instincts were screaming like Ele, Mavado, and Sean Paul- “bun dis”.

So I confronted him.

Turns out my instincts were right.

Clearly my confrontation of him was a shock, because I have never seen someone splutter and cough and choke on words as much as he did that day. Further adding fuel to my fire.

He basically showed himself to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing (something I will talk about more next week), when he said ‘I didn’t want to hurt you’. All  the while my instincts are screaming ‘I told you so, I told you so!!’

So ladies, and gentlemen too, please be sure to always keep your brain tuned into your instincts, they could be trying to save your heart from being broken.

Onyx Knight