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Have you ever noticed how ridiculously glamourous soap operas sound? The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, Passions- all the best ones have names which allude to the scandalous nature of the characters involved.

You know how they sometimes say that life often imitates art? Well it seems that the statement  is true, especially when it comes to the office where I work. It seems that there is never a moment without drama. Welcome to The Dense and the Brazen where the characters are many and the plots are thick and heavily intertwined.

Scene begins in the middle of our weekly department meeting where I catch a glimpse of a very tense exchange of awkward looks between two of my colleagues. He is a charming boy next door type, friendly and a bit of a comedian, what is affectionately known as a "Cheeky Chappy". She is the understated siren, not the obvious choice in the office, but, extremely likeable and thus holds more power than she is credited for.

Where's the scandal I hear you ask? Well, how's this for scandal? Before Cheeky's lip lock with Siren, he was involved in a year long romantic tryst with another young lady in the office, Cling-on (so called because of her needy, jealousy-fuelled, clingy behaviour).  Cling-on knew Siren, and the two were friendly enough. Recently Cling-on moved to another department and it seems this move meant that she and Cheeky were destined to drift apart, much to Siren's happiness, because this meant she could drift in as a replacement. Sure enough, Cling-on and Cheeky broke up. Cheeky became dutifully depressed, and Siren moved in quickly to ease his pain.

So? I hear you further ask, why was there the exchange of awkward, tense looks in the department meeting? Well a few days after the kiss at the office party Siren thought she was in... she thought that maybe she and Cheeky could initiate a relationship. Cheeky soon lay that expectation to rest when he let Siren know that it wasn't going to happen. Cheeky was clearly not ready to move on from the break up. Being a decent enough guy Cheeky still felt bad for hurting Siren, and so seeing her in the department meeting (still with longing in her eyes) was an awkward moment for all involved including those of us who had witnessed the kiss, the hopeful excitement and the tears after her advances were spurned.

What is it about the pursuit of love that makes people who would otherwise behave in a normal rational way, exhibit such illogical traits? Cheeky and Siren are prime examples of this. Something seems to happen to these two at office events, which, usually ends up in drunken tears and reasoning in a darkened corner. What further worsens the situation is Siren's drunken friends, Ditzy and Dotish only encourage her by filling her head with illusions rather than the reality of the situation: " Oh hun, he will come around eventually".

Ladies allow me to enlighten you all: no he wont!

Onyx Knight