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I was disheartened to learn that a friend of mine had decided to reconcile, once again, with her ex. I know there are a few of you who are probably thinking: '' Oh there she goes again, single chick got something to say about someone's relationship... Hating again''.

 Well, for those of you who are thinking that- cease and desist immediately, because that is not the case at all. Actually me being disheartened was more of a reaction to the concern I felt for a friend.

Has anyone here ever heard the phrase Frenemy? You know, that person who usually masquerades as a well wisher, but, is secretly wishing, things go wrong for you. That person who when you look good will try make you feel as though you look questionable, and erodes your self esteem, just so you don't start thinking that you're special. You'd keep that person at arms length wouldn't you? Maybe spend less time with them,  for your own well being? What if that person was your man? What would you do then?

This is pretty much the situation with my friend. However, in her situation, she has two frenemies in her life.... Her man and herself. Yes readers,  she is her own worst enemy. You may ask yourselves why? Surely she is the victim? Well yes, when it comes to some aspects of his mistreatment, she is indeed a victim.  She has obviously a level of vulnerability that he can exploit. However, she is an intelligent and beautiful woman,  so why doesn't she end it?  She has in the past.  What is it that causes her to go back to him?

At this stage, I feel it important to make clear that I want the best for my friend and in trusting that she is sensible enough to make good choices, a certain condition is to accept that she feels the choice she has made is the correct one, and that as it (at this point) makes her happy, then all I can do as a friend is offer support. This does not, however make me any less wary or mean that I can offer my approval.

I wonder what it is about an ex that can make you forget all the bad that you have endured and hope that things will suddenly be different and/or better. What is it that an ex can say or do to convince you that you should be together. I’m not speaking about those breakups where you say something you don’t mean, or neither wants to compromise and then you both come to an understanding. I’m speaking of those self-destructive, break-you-from-the-core relationships. These can only have one outcome. What is attractive about   repeating that cycle?

This relationship reminds me of the last series of x-factor where Jedward (*for those not aware of these scary individuals here's a link) rather than being voted off by the judges for crimes against music and taste, were kept around week after week for their “entertainment value” (the phrase entertainment is used incredibly loosely here! Why on earth tolerate which is so rubbish and also so painful. Feel free to apply that question to both Jedward and my friends relationship… answers on  postcard to “Heartbreak hotel, Going nowhere road, LONDON”.

Onyx Knight