Almost three years ago, I moved to the island of Antigua and Barbuda in the Caribbean.  Land of beaches and sun. Lots of Sun. Strange choice- for someone like me. I was never keen on the idea of sand, sea or sun.  I'm never too keen on sun.  It wasn’t that I was ready to move from my particularly cozy town in southern USA. (My living there had been another strange choice- for someone like me). It was just one of those decisions. There are some things you do just because you can or just because. My move to the Caribbean was one of those “just becauses”.

One night, I was watching some laughing teenage boys at a mall.  They were running up an escalator, laughing raucously, as they grabbed at each other’s shirt. Behind them, I could see girls in the stores, jostling to find articles of clothing with the least bit of cloth. It was, very literally, the next night that I found myself in Jamaica at some club with a forgettable name. The teenage boys here were contorting their bodies- eager to show off their strength to the sickening sound of Jamaican dancehall.

While the boys in the club twisted their bodies and their faces, I could feel the eyes of the girls who were much younger than they looked or danced. They regarded me with interest. I didn’t regard them. I returned to the hotel.  In the elevator, on the way to my room, two drunken Englishmen lewdly warn me to watch out for the ghost of a cricket (the game- not the insect) coach who had died in this very hotel. I assured them that I was not the least bit fearful of ghosts. They laughed. They said I should be.

Two nights later, I flew to Cuba. I bumped into some familiar faces there. Familiarity was the last thing I wanted. The night after that, I, very literally, stumbled upon Antigua. I felt no pull to the island. Flying over her, there was not one thing which drew me closer. But I was already there and, very shortly, the brutal sun would wake.

When morning discovered me still in Antigua, I blinked dazedly around before liberally dousing my neck with sun-block. Then, I wrapped a thick and heavy wool scarf around my neck. I ventured out into the torturous sun to explore the island. This did not take a lot of time. I could have just explored her from the balcony of my hotel. There was not much to explore. She was not particularly beautiful to me. Not heavily forested as someone like me might prefer. She seemed just a boring and barren expanse of sand and sea. There was definitely no pull for me here. That made up my mind.  I flew out and flew back in.

That was almost three years ago. I am still here. Like I said, “just because”.

(V) Damien