These last few weeks have been curious; they have led me to rediscover things about the nature of loss, gain and, of course, balance in the universe.  On the business side of things, these past weeks, I was made to stay awake even later than usual perusing pages and pages of documents. Yes, we all knew we were in a recession. But, it’s so very  curious how a few simple and seemingly unconnected events in already bad situation can make things so much worse than before.

My most profitable venture on the island seems motivated to prove to me that everything that could go wrong in an instant can and will go wrong…in an instant. But, right beside the papers explaining this venture’s decline and decay were another batch celebrating the success of another venture of mine.

This other venture began as a hobby, something to do on the side- to further occupy minutes and hours of my life. But now, it’s unexpectedly vying for a top spot in my business heart and mind.

On the personal side of things, I recently received news that an old and dear friend of mine passed away.  I knew he had been doing poorly and the last I heard, some four years ago, he wasn’t expected to make it beyond the year.  But, he did make it beyond that year- four years ago- and he, from all the accounts reaching me, ensured that his doctor suffered properly for the earlier prediction. By the second year in, I had ceased worrying about him and life continued.  One might even say, I forgot about him- as old and dear a friend as he was. We never spoke -not even once- over those four years; sometime ago, we had decided that we were satisfied with secondhand greetings and wishes.

I’d continued my breakfast after receiving the news by telephone that he was dead.  I have long come to terms with my reactions to death.  And so, I felt no guilt in not showing any outward signs of turmoil or for being too calm on the phone- asking after the caller’s (his daughter) health and hoping that I could make it to the funeral. For, I knew that it was a blow to me and that my sorrow for all that we weren’t in those last years was intense.  I didn’t need to fly any black flags from the castle of my heart so that everyone would know sorrow was in residence there. Besides, there was no one here to care.

I was hardly given time to ingest and digest this latest bit of news, before a call, one day later, alerted me that in two months time, I would have two companions- both orphans and family.  I tried my best to extricate myself from the situation. I had a lot of work to do. Things weren’t going smoothly right now.  I would not have enough time to spend with these too much younger relatives of mine.  But she, my aunt, who next to me, had been my grandmother’s favourite considered it a done deal.  These two young people and I were very much alike, she said, and there would be something in the companionship for each of us. I couldn’t say no, she insisted, as they were, after all, already so excited to meet me and live on this island- Antigua… even it was for a short time.

 (V). Damien